Will Anyone Forgive Me?
by labrat-seph
Summary: Seph wants to redeem himself for what he has done in life. First Chap is what 'happened' in Nibelheim. ON HOLD until I come up with an actual story for it


"**Will Anyone Forgive Me?"**

A/N: This is my first attempt at writing a fan fic. Please forgive me if there are any mistakes.

Summery: And yet another story of Sephiroth wanting redemption. Some of the things in the fic will not hold entirely true to the game, so please bear with me at those times. I will try to as true to the game as much as I can. I will tweak the story of the game as little as possible, but no promises. The first chapter is very boring but there are a few changes to the game story or rather modifications. Please just bear with me in it for now.

May not really continue because I know it sucks and just posted it because I was bored one day. Also, it was up about a year ago but then I kinda gave up on it. Don't ask why I'm putting it back up because I have no idea...-.-

Well enough of my blabbing and on with the story.

**Disclaimer:** Oh I almost forgot. I do not own FFVII or any of the characters in the game or any of the weapons for that matter.

Chapter One: Memories in the Lifestream

A lone figure stands on the edge of a same island in the Lifestream. He has a look of despair and great sadness on his face. His face shows more pain that no normal can bear. Well then again, he is no normal man. He is the once legendary General Sephiroth.

To anyone who knows about his "great" deeds he accomplished in his life, he would seem frightening. He now stands a broken man. He is 6' 1" with long flowing silver hair. Even in the Lifestream he still has his normal black pants and trench coat. His long trench coat almost looks like a cape while it nearly touches the floor.

"Do I really deserve to be here?" he says to himself aloud. "All I did in my life was cause pain and suffering. I deserve what happened to me. I deserved to be killed by Cloud. After all, I did burn down his hometown." A look of regret now appears on his face. "I have no right to be here after all I did."

After his last fight against Cloud, the leader of AVALANCHE, he woke up in the Lifestream. Now that he was no longer under the influence of Jenova, a vile creature which he thought was his mother; he was now free to express his emotions.

Since he had awakened in the Lifestream, he had been going over the events of his life. The memories from his childhood with Hojo, if you could even call it a childhood, came first. Then the memories from his teen years in the ShinRa army came back to him. Then the ones from his young adult hood in the war against Wutai. Followed by the burning and destruction of Nibleheim. Finally the memories of trying to destroy the Planet and summoning Meteor. "Nibleheim…" he whispers to himself

Flashback

About five years ago, in his life, he was ordered on a mission. His mission was to discover the reason why there were so many monsters at the Mako reactor in Nibelheim. He was accompanied by a close friend, Zack. Zack was a First Class SOLDIER from Gongaga. He had long and very spiky hair. He was often teased about the way that his hair was styled. People always used to call him "spike" or "porcupine head". With them were two ShinRa grunts Cloud and Jerry. Cloud was born in Nibelheim. He had recently joined ShinRa's army because he was not accepted in to SOLDIER. Cloud, like Zack, also had spiky hair. The difference between Zack's hair and Cloud's was the length and the color. Zack had black hair and Cloud had blonde hair. Jerry had never really talked about himself. In fact he never talked at all.

As soon as they had arrived they had to fight a large dragon that had been attracted to the reactor. Sephiroth and Zack beat the dragon quickly and continued on their way into Nibelheim.

Nibelheim was a small town located at the base of Mt. Nibel. There were about one hundred two-story houses in Nibelheim. Each of the homes were built in a similar style. There were very few one-story homes in Nibelheim. At the very heart of the town was well.

When the four entered the town they saw a small girl at its entrance as if she was waiting for someone. As soon as Cloud saw the girl he ran back to get out of sight and put on a mask that he had brought with him. When Cloud returned with his mask on the girl had already gone further into town. Sephiroth nodded his head in disproval when he saw that Cloud was wearing the mask.

"How does it feel?" Sephiroth questioned Cloud.

"How does what feel?" he asked Sephiroth.

"It's your first time back to your hometown in a long time. How does it feel?" he asked again.

"The same as it would for you, I guess", Cloud replied.

"I wouldn't know because I don't have a home town," Sephiroth told Cloud.

"Oh, sorry I didn't know that," Cloud said sympathetically.

"It doesn't matter, I've long since accepted that fact," he stated rather coolly.

"Wait. What about your parents?" Cloud now inquired Sephiroth.

"My mother's name was Jenova, and she died after she gave birth to me" he replied.

"And what about your father?" Cloud asked a little too curiously.

"My father?" Sephiroth repeated. His shoulders began to shake as he was chuckling. "Hahahahahaha," he took a deep breath. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Now Cloud, Zack and Jerry had confused looks on their faces.

"Uh, is he supposed to be laughing like that?" Jerry queried.

"I really don't know what he is or isn't supposed to do," Zack whispered to Jerry.

Sephiroth finally stopped laughing. "Well anyway, we have a mission to complete. Now let's move!" he ordered the three other men. They obediently followed their General. As they made their way into town, they immediately began to search for an inn. Once they had found one, they rented four rooms, one for each. After they had put their belongings in their rooms they went out to explore Nibelheim. Sephiroth and Zack went to go se if they could find someone who would guide them to the Mako reactor on Mt. Nibel. Cloud and Jerry went to go see if they could find a bar. Once they had found one, they went inside and didn't come out until the sun had nearly set. When darkness came to Nibelheim the four men gathered at the inn. Sephiroth told them that they should get some rest since the next day was going to be a long one, longer than anyone would have ever guessed.

During the night Cloud went to visit Zack before he would go to bed. Cloud was still a little nervous being around Sephiroth, being that Sephiroth was his childhood hero. As he was about to knock on Zack's door Sephiroth came out of his room. As soon as he came out of his room he saw Cloud standing in front of Zack's door.

"I thought I told you to go to bed, Strife. I'm not kidding when I say that tomorrow will be a long day. Don't forget that we have to climb Mt. Nibel and really don't think that it will be a walk in the park," he warned Cloud.

"Yeah I know I just need to ask Zack something really quick," he explained to Sephiroth.

"Well, you'd better make it quick. As I said before you'll need all the rest that you can get," and with that he walked through the hallway and down the stairs.

'That was scary. I thought that he was about to yell at me' he let out a deep sigh of relief to calm his nerves a bit. Finally, he decided to knock on Zack's door.

"Who's there?" Zack called from inside his room.

"Hey. Zack, it's me Cloud," he replied.

"Alright, just hold on a sec," he said. Cloud could hear Zack's footsteps approach the door. When Zack reached the door, Cloud could hear the lock move out of place and then the door opened. "I've been meaning to have a chat with you," Zack told him as he motioned for Cloud to enter his room.

Unknown to either of the two men, Sephiroth was actually listening to what was happening from the stairs with his sensitive ears. Once he was convinced that the other men were far enough into the room, he crept back up the stairs and positioned himself right out side the door so that he could listen to their conversation.

"What did you want to talk to me about porcupine head?" Cloud asked Zack.

"Well, Chocobo head," Zack started, "I was wondering why you put the mask on as soon as we got into town. I mean, don't you want people to see you with the Great General Sephiroth."

"I, uh, w-well you see," he stammered. "I-I like the way the mask feels on my, uh, face," he lied.

"Fine, whatever do as you will. So what did you want to talk to me about?" he inquired.

"Oh, yeah! I almost forgot about that."

"Well?"

"I was just curios as to how you got used to being around the General Sephiroth. I still get pretty nervous whenever I get within five feet of him. I almost feel like pissing my pants when he talks to me," Cloud rambled.

Zack laughed a little. "Heh heh. Yeah I still remember what I was like when I first met him. It took me a while to get used to being around such a big celebrity. The trick is to just think of him as another guy. It takes a while for that thought to sink in but once it does you stop being so edgy around him. Also you need to relax, if you stress too much you'll make a mistake and that looks really bad in front of him," he encouraged Cloud. He thought for a moment, "Hey Cloud, How come you never get nervous when you're around me?"

"Well, honestly. I'm not really afraid of you. The main reason I get nervous around Sephiroth is because I know that he can kill with one clean sweep of his sword. Also I admire his strength. He's been my child hood hero since I was eight years old"

Outside the room Sephiroth muttered to himself, "So you are afraid of me are you Strife?" That really doesn't surprise. Almost everyone on Gaea is afraid of me. But for some reason, I really don't want you to be afraid of me. Normally I enjoy the way that people are afraid of me. I love to see that look in there eyes where they will do anything I tell them to. Yet with you and Zack," he paused for a moment, "I don't want you to always be afraid that I will kill you for no apparent reason. I want both of you to know me for who I really am, not the General that the world knows. I get the feeling that both of you know what it's like to be an outcast." As he heard the conversation continue in the room he fell silent so that he could hear.

"That really hurts Cloud. Why aren't you afraid of me? I'm capable of killing you as well you know. I'm stronger and at a higher rank than you."

"Well it's mostly because you joke around so much. Also, the fact that we're so much alike in looks and personality. When either of us makes ma joke only the other would get it."

"Well I guess that is true. I still really don't understand why you're so afraid of Seph. He's pretty cool once you get to know him. He has to have that hard exterior to keep the respect of all the other SOLDIERs."

"I just think that he yells at the new recruits too much. It's like he demands perfection from the newest members. I think that's a bit much to ask for."

"Well in truth all the other generals are like that too. Sure he's a little more demanding than the others, but that will come in handy later on in their lives, should they have to fight in a war."

"Yeah I guess. Well I'm going to go to bed. If Sephiroth comes back and I'm still here, I don't even want to begin to imagine what he'd do to me. Later, Zack."

"Yeah it is best that you do go. Well see you tomorrow. You'd better go to sleep as soon as you get to your bed."

As Sephiroth herd Cloud begin to approach the door, he began to move quickly and quietly back to his room. When Cloud reached the door and opened it, Sephiroth had already been in his room. Now as quietly as he could, which was very loud and clumsy, Cloud went to his room and went to bed.

predawn

Sephiroth looked at the clock in his room. It read 4:30 a.m. Because he was in the army Sephiroth could never sleep in. He was so used to waking up at four or four-thirty. There was rarely a time which he slept until seven a.m. Since he was already awake and he knew the others wouldn't wake until later, he decided that he would take a walk to stretch his legs. He went out of town a little and then began to practice with his Masamune. It had become a part of his morning ritual since he had first started using Masamune.

When he felt that he had his workout for the morning he went back into town. When he finally made back to his room and got ready for the day ahead, he checked the time once again, it was now 6:30 a.m. He figured that the others had enough sleep and went to go wake them. The first door he knocked on was Zack's, then Cloud, and finally Jerry. The three men took and hour to finish getting ready. By the time they were ready Sephiroth was bored out of his mind and upset that they took so long to prepare themselves.

Three of the four men gathered at the base of Mt. Nibel along with their guide waiting for the last member to arrive. Cloud was the last to arrive. He saw that the others were waiting for him and began to apologize but stopped when he saw who their guide was. It was the same girl he saw at the town's entrance the day before. Zack had introduced the girl as Tifa. She looked to be no more than fifteen years old. Apparently she was the only one that would volunteer to show the men to the reactor on Mt. Nibel. Her father was also at the base of the mountain to make sure that she would be fine. Sephiroth and Zack had promised that they would not let anything happen to the girl. Another member of the town was there and asked if he could take a picture of Sephiroth and Zack. Zack had asked Tifa to get in the picture as well. The man took the picture and ran to his home yelling "I got a picture of Sephiroth!" over and over. Finally the four men and the young girl began to make their way up the mountain.

About half way up the mountain they came across the bridge. Tifa had told them that the shortest way to the reactor was to cross the bridge. When all five of them were on the bridge, it collapsed from the weight and they began to fall. When they awoke from their fall none had any broken bones, only a few scratches. Zack decided to take a head count and noticed that Jerry was missing. Sephiroth said that they had no time to spare and a mission to complete. The group agreed and they had to find an alternate route to the reactor. They had reached a cave and in the cave was a fountain. Cloud and Tifa were awe struck. Sephiroth explained that it was a Mako fountain.

Tifa stated, "If the reactor continues then the fountain will run dry".

"When you condense Mako energy materia is produced. It's rare to see Materia in its natural state," he informed her.

Zack asked, "Why is it that when you use materia you can also use magic?"

Baffled by Zack's question, Sephiroth tried to keep his cool while he explained. "You were in SOLDIER and you don't even know that. The knowledge and wisdom of the Ancients is held in the materia. Anyone with this knowledge can freely use the powers of the Land and the Planet. That knowledge interacts between ourselves and the Planet calling up magic… or so they say."

Zack said in awe, "Magic… a mysterious power…"

Sephiroth started to laugh at what Zack had just said. Zack had a confused look on his face saying what is he laughing at. As soon as Sephiroth stopped laughing he began to speak once more. "A man once told me never to use an unscientific term such as mysterious power! It shouldn't even be called 'magic'! I still remember how angry he was."

"Who was that?" Zack asked.

"Hojo of Shinra Inc." he answered. "An inexperienced man assigned to take over the work of a great scientist. He was a walking mass of complexes."

Tifa, who had been listening to the conversation, finally spoke, "A Mako fountain… So this is where the knowledge of the Ancients is."

After they had their fill of looking at the fountain they continued on their way to the reactor. After they went out of the area in which the fountain Tifa told them that the reactor was not too far of, however they rest of the hike was going to be difficult. Because they had Sephiroth with them most of the monsters in the area were easily defeated.

When they arrived at the reactor the four had a small conversation. Tifa had asked if she could go into the reactor, but Zack had told her that she couldn't. Sephiroth said that only Shinra personal were allowed to enter. Tifa tried to protest but in her mind she knew that Sephiroth would not allow her to go in. To make sure that she did not follow he put Cloud, who had not spoken a word through out the whole hike, was ordered to gaud the entrance of the reactor without question. Tifa tried to follow but Cloud had gotten in her path and she yelled, "Then you'd better take good care of me then!" at he grunt whose face she had not seen.

Inside the reactor Sephiroth and Zack were inspecting the area. Sephiroth immediately identified the problem. He asked Zack to close off the valve that was malfunctioning. Zack did as he was told and Sephiroth looked through one of the pods that was inside the reactor. After Zack had finished closing the valve Sephiroth called Zack over to him so that Zack could look at what he had seen. As soon as Zack saw what was in the pod he fell to the floor from fright. Zack asked Sephiroth what was in the tank. Sephiroth told him that that was once a man, but he had been exposed to extremely high doses of Mako transforming them into monsters. Zack asked if those things had once been humans. Just then Sephiroth began clutching his head as if he were in pain.

"N…no," he said and then began to slash at the pod. "Am I the same as these monsters!" he yelled. He moved over to slash at another pod.

"Sephiroth…" Zack said in a low voice.

"You saw it! All of them… were humans…"

"Human! No way!" Zack screamed back.

"… I've always felt since I was small… that I was different from the others. Special in some way. But… not like this… Am I human?"

After that the two men left the reactor and went back to Nibelheim.

A few days later.

Back at Nibelheim Zack and Cloud were worried about Sephiroth. Since the day they returned from the reactor he had been acting strangely. He had locked himself in his room and wouldn't talk to anyone.

"Am I just like those things that we found? Was I created just like they were? What am I exactly? Am I a monster or a human?" those questions kept going through his mind. "I think I'll pay a visit to the Shinra mansion", he decided and left his room.

Zack had noticed that Sephiroth had left his room and went to go look for him. Cloud had told him that Sephiroth had gone into the mansion and had not come out.

Zack went to see if he could find his friend. He checked all the rooms on the first floor but he didn't find Sephiroth. Next he checked the rooms on the upper floor. They too were all empty, but Cloud had told him that he saw him go into the room in the East wing of the mansion. As Zack inspected the room more thoroughly he found a switch and pushed it. A secret door in the room opened. Since he had already searched the rest of the house he figured this was the only other place that Sephiroth could be. Zack went to the door and saw that there was a stairwell that went down into what he could only guess could be the basement. Once he reached the basement level he saw that it lead into a tunnel. At the end of the tunnel he noticed that there was a door which light was creeping out from beneath the door. He slowly opened the door. In the room was what seemed like a small laboratory. Sephiroth was pacing in the middle of the room while reading a book. He was completely absorbed in the book that he did not even noticed Zack's presence. He just kept reading his book while pacing until Zack called out to him. "Sephiroth."

Sephiroth had asked him to leave him alone until he was finished reading his book. Zack did as he was asked for fear that the might upset his friend even more than he already was.

Sephiroth stayed in the basement reading every book that was down in the lab. Zack was beginning to worry even more because Sephiroth had not slept in days. He had been reading for a few days until Zack came back down to check on him. When Zack went into the lab once again, he could not see Sephiroth. Zack continued to explore the lab until he saw that there was light coming from his left. As he entered the office that held the light he saw that Sephiroth was seated at the desk that was in the office.

"Traitor", Sephiroth called to Zack.

"Traitor?" Zack repeated with a slight hint of questioning in his voice.

Sephiroth went on to explain that he was the son of Jenova and that he saw a Cetra. Zack didn't really know how to react to what Sephiroth had just told him. He was so confused by the way that Sephiroth was speaking when he noticed that Sephiroth was about to leave the room. Zack had asked where he was going and Sephiroth replied in a cold and harsh voice, "Out of my way, I'm going to see my mother!"

End Flashback

"What happened when I was on my way to the reactor? Why can't I remember anymore about that day?" he was trying to organize his thoughts but he couldn't. "The only thing I remember after that is a girl in a pink dress, praying. "Who was she? What does she have to do with me?" His face suddenly changed from confused to a look of horror. "I-I killed her! What did she do to me! Why did I kill her!" he screamed loud enough to be heard by all the others that were in the Lifestream. He was now fighting back tears that had formed in his eyes. "Why is Strife in my memories?" he pondered. "What was that black materia that he gave me?" something is his mind clicked. "Meteor…" the word escaped from his lips. "I almost destroyed the planet. Not only did I destroy Nibelheim, but I almost destroyed the entire world! What right do I have to be here in the Lifestream?" He was so focused on his thoughts that he barely heard his mane being called out from behind him.

"Sephiroth?" a voice called. He turned to look to see who the person that called him was.

A/N: Well, that about does it...


End file.
